Do you really hear what you take in?

If we want to make BIG things happen, we need to listen well. The catalyst for most breakthroughs comes from OUT THERE, so we don’t want to miss a thing!

Active listening is a way of listening and responding that improves mutual understanding. Many people are poor listeners. They get distracted, talk too much, and think about what they are going to say next when they should be listening. They assume that they know what the other person is going to say and tune them out. It can be difficult to take the time and energy to listen actively, but the rewards are worth the effort.

You are listening actively when you:

• Demonstrate a sincere desire to pay attention to the other person (instead of mentally practicing what you are going to say next).
• Are committed to being coachable and open with the information being received from the other person.
• Are interested in relating to the other person’s perspective and empathizing with their point of view.
• Are non-critical or judgmental, but seek to understand the other person.
• Are attentive and not distracted by other things in the environment.
• Feedback, confirm, restate, or paraphrase information to ensure you have interpreted it as intended.
• Reflect on what the other person is saying.
• Synthesize the information, emotion, and feelings to improve understanding.
• Clarify the information by asking questions and probing down into additional layers of information as needed.
• Validate perceptions and assumptions.
• Let the other person talk.

How does this apply to email or written communication? We often get distracted when reading email, just like when someone is talking to us (looking around, thinking about what you need to get done, singing along with the radio, etc). For example, how many of you can honestly say you are focusing on the message in this post right now? If you are not really reading and considering the ideas, either choose to listen better as you read or come back later when you can fully take in the information.

What about the emails you have received in the last couple days - have you really considered the information that might be there waiting to make a difference for you?

I am challenged with this too, and have to remind myself to reflect and consider the gifts` people are offering me (feedback, coaching, and input is a gift).

As you share your goals and seek input, take the time to absorb and consider what people offer you. Don't just go through the motions of asking for ideas without listening to them.

Comments

[Matthew Cornell]

What a great list! AND a great challenge... As I continue my networking experiment (three new people a week), I'm really trying to focus on listening, learning, and helping.

[Lisa Haneberg]

Three new people a week - wow that's a lot! Thanks for the feedback and good luck with your goal.