How many of our goals are focused on getting or achieving what we see others have or have done?
We want the job or title that someone else has.
We want the recognition or exposure that others enjoy.
We want the cool new car that a few lucky people drive.
We want to sell as many books as Jim Collins.
We want to make as much per speech as top tier folks like Tom Peters and Marcus Buckingham.
We want blog traffic like Scoble or Seth.
We want excitement like Richard Branson has.
We want to be the leader everyone looks to, like many great CEOs.
We want our start-ups to go viral.
And sometimes we even believe we deserve the success that alludes us. And we might be right, but that it not the point and dwelling in this place is not helpful.
Sometimes I struggle with myself. There are aspects of my life that I had envisioned differently. But I know going to this space in my head is not helpful and does not serve me well.
This realization comes to us every now and then when we meet someone who is living an extraordinary life and who is content, but who by Hollywood and Wall Street standards would not be considered a success. Sometimes it's the small town grocer, who just squeezes by financially, but whose store is the social center of the community. Sometimes it's the wanderer, someone who does odd jobs and travels in a beat up VW van or better yet, an old motorcycle packed with all his or her belongings. You might meet an assembly line worker who does her job with grace and peace and would not think of doing anything different. And then there's the teacher who knows the difference he makes and has to count every penny and spend vacations working side jobs.
Our definition of success and goals ought to be based on how we best fit in this world and make a difference in this world, not based on someone else's' life that we covet. It is hard to generate breakthroughs in arenas what are not a match. If you are struggling to make something happen, you might try examining whether your goals are based on what's right for you or on some definition of success that is based on what others have achieved.
Generate YOUR best life.
I think the best lives are home made and don't follow a recipe.