More on Giving Up

Here is another post about giving up from Adrian over at Slow Leadership. Here's a provocative snippet:

If you’re willing to give up the idea—the false but seductive dream—of becoming someone or achieving a particular goal, you may well increase your chances of doing it for real. That dream may have no longer have anything to do with the reality it mimics. After all, you probably formed it long ago, when you had almost no idea of what reaching your goal would take—or what it would be like when you got there. The reality is what you need to aim for; the dream is mostly compounded of fantasy and ignorance.

Comments

[lizthefair]

Thanks for this. I read slow leadership but have been in scan mode lately and missed this one.

I know the author is speaking mostly about professional goals, but in my experience this applies to personal goals as well.

I've personally noticed it most strongly in romantic relationships. We grow up with this culturally induced understanding of what it means to be in a “good relationship” (i.e. Marriage, big diamond, 2.2 kids, high earning husband, beautiful wife) and then work towards the trappings of that relationship–rather than building it from the inside out.

For me at least it was only when I was no longer willing to stick with a relationship at all costs–when I could imagine a great life for myself with or without the partner in question did that partnership really take off. I'm wildly happy now, but it's nothing like I imagined a good relationship to look or feel like.

[Emma Bird]

Hi Lisa

Thanks for this sharing this quote from Adrian and allowing me to discover another blog in the process.

The 'provocative snippet' is something that I often tell clients when they come to us with their dreams for Italy. Finding out what the main component of the dream or goal is is far more important than all the frills.

Am looking forward to reading your book.
Emma