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Excellent points to consider. Those two are really appropriate in the situation. Sometimes it just comes down to plain logic. We can't just keep on going even though we know that we will lose.

Hi Lisa

You have some really valuable points here.

I wonder if part of the reason we find this stuff difficult is the language we use. "Failure" is such a heavily laden word. Is it easier to think of it in terms of "something I tried that didn't work out?" For me that makes it easier to find the path towards the "letting go" part which is maybe also easier to swallow than "giving up". Again this might be that the message of "not giving up" is so hard-wired into us. But also because the words don't quite reflect what I think you're suggesting. It's not giving up the climb, just looking for a different path around the mountain.

Best wishes


Sure - what we call things does matter. Lose, fail, give up versus let go, didn't work, and try something new.

I will say, however, that I think if you can get comfortable with the real words - like failure - you will progress more quickly. You might tell yourself it's not failure, it just didn't work, but inside you might still be held back by notions of failure. You see the distinction? We are all pretty good at psyching ourselves up when we catch ourselves thinking negative. But our fear of failure goes deeper than this.

If I can acknowledge a failure - call it a failure - and still move on, then the failure (and angst that comes with failure) has less of a hold on me.

Because I have seen my decision to move into the woods before knowing what it takes to be a writer as a failure - a bad decision, I am not haunted by it.

The more you can get to the authentic feeling and acknowledge it, the better chance you have of releasing its power on you.

Lisa, thanks again. You're right. I can see how this would allow you to take back more power - and get to a different level of 'breakthrough'.


Sometimes, trusting the heart is hard to do, because some of us may have bad experiences about it, or may have heard those bad experiences from a friend.

Howie - I agree, it all can be hard. But this is what makes it defining and better territory for breakthroughs.

I would extend this a little bit and say that deciding to stop doing something does not mean right this minute.

You could decide that this particular job is not right for you and to stop doing it. But what that could easily mean is then making a move to a different job and implementing those steps until a new job is found.

The key is recognizing that something needs to stop. That's a hard task, as written here. Then the next step is to plan and execute to something new.

Good article, Lisa. Thanks.

Scot - I think that's a great point. Deciding to move on does not mean it all needs to be done now. And taking some small steps each day will help make the transition more doable.

i tried doing a trackback but seemed to fail miserably. (ha) and great point, lisa, about calling it a failure as a way to address and root out that fear. i hadn't thought about it that way, but i will now.

all the best!

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