2Weeks2aBreakthrough

Al Jarreau and Metaphors for Success

I attended an Al Jarreau concert this week and it got me thinking about the first time I heard and fell in love with Jarreau's music and how that experience shaped my definition of success and stress management practices. I have written a lot about the power of small actions (the Butterfly Effect) and this is a good example of how people can have a profound and lasting impact through small actions or gifts.

I was about 20 years old at the time and living in Florida. My roommate and I went to a club to dance. We were both basically broke (no money) and nursed our drinks for hours.

We went our separate ways in the club and this did not alarm me until it was nearly closing time and I could not find her. After looking everywhere, I concluded that she had left - probably with someone. The bad thing about this is that she had driven. AND I did not have money for a cab. AND Florida did not have public transportation to speak of. I was stranded well beyond walking distance to my apartment.

I realized that I needed to ask someone for a ride home but did not want to make a request that seemed like it was more than I intended (no Quid Pro Quo, if you know what I mean). I observed a well dressed middle-aged man at the bar. He seemed smart and poised. I decided to ask this man for a lift to my apartment.

I walked up to him, explained my situation as humbly as possible and made the request. He was gracious and agreed to help me out. I worried a bit that he might not be as nice as he seemed, but I did not have a lot of choices. This was before people walked around with cell phones, so there was no way to call or text anyone for help.

As we went out to the parking lot, he pointed toward the driver side of his car - a Mercedes two-seater convertible. He got in, let me in, started the car and put down the top. It was very cool.

As we got onto the highway, he turned on the cassette player (cassettes here HOT then, having just replaced the 8-track in cars). His choice of music? Al Jarreau, of course. The songs Mornin' and Boogie Down filled my head with a fabulous vibe and I was hooked.

Fast car, cool breeze, upbeat jazzy tunes. The nice man did not say a word during the drive and I sat back in the passenger's seat and soaked in the experience. This is what success is, I thought. As he reached my apartment parking lot, I thanked him and we parted ways. He was smart, gracious and had impeccable taste.

When I need to reconnect to a feeling of success or when I need a nudge myself out of a mental funk, I play jazzy tunes in my car, and let the breeze carry my hopes and intentions through my breath and body like prayer flags in the wind. It works every time.

We all have metaphors for success - those places or situations that seemed to you to be emblematic of how you want to live. Take time to reconnect to these places and experiences and reengage in your goals.

I never saw that man again and I bet he never knew the impact his generous ride home had on me.

Tutor Your Way to a Breakthrough? Tutoring Better than Mentoring

Interesting article from Harvard Business called, Mentoring is Overrated - Try Tutoring Instead. The article points to the power of teaching others as a way to learn. This plays out in many ways. When I train, I notice that if the expectation is that the participants will turn around and train others, they listen differently.

To generate a breakthrough. teach!

How to Change Your Life With Rituals from @TonyRobbins

Love this video on rituals, check it out. See it, make it happen. Key quote "focus is controlled by questions."

When people don't "get you."

Check out this interesting post from Ken over at Mildly Creative (hat tip to Deb Owen) called How to Be Authentic with People Who Love You but Don't Understand You. The post is about why it is still the best approach to be authentic - really you - and offers suggestions for how to do this even if the real you is somewhat foreign or strange to some. Here is a snippet:

2. Stop asking people to give you what you won’t give yourself. On Wednesday, I’ll write about how we often expect our friends and family to see things we can’t yet see, believe things we don’t yet believe, and to give support to things we don’t yet support ourselves. And, of course, I’ll explain why we need to stop doing this.

Such a good point. Check it out!

Spend the First Hour Uninterrupted

Many managers are flooded with calls, emails, and visitors the moment they get to the office. This immediate assault can make you feel overwhelmed from the start. If you can condition others to hold off requests for an hour, you can take that time think, create, plan, or analyze. “Dream on,” you say? Give it a try! You might not always be able to set aside the first hour of the day, but shoot for three times per week.

Go where the energy is.

I was talking to a communications and publicity expert yesterday and found myself using the phrase, "go where the energy is," a few times. He noticed it too, and was struck by it. He suggested it might make for a nice story or book idea. We talked briefly about what going with the energy means and looks like and how I have applied this in my writing and business life. Here is a brief post that captures the gist of the concept.

Part of being an optimistic, glass is half-full, kind of person is disappointment. Sounds counter-intuitive, but it is true. When we are optimistic, we believe that great things can and should happen. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. Optimists feel disappointment more than do pessimists.

Even so, I think that seeing the glass as half-full is an advantage because it allows us to be ready and open for more possibilities. And it is more pleasant - for us and for those with whom we interact.

We can blindly move through the world hoping for the best or we can be more targeted and improve our odds of being delighted. This is where going with the energy comes in.

Going with the energy means noticing and approaching situations or people that are drawn to us or the situation. For example, when I did my motorcycle book tour around the country a few years ago, I went to the towns where my blog readers had volunteered to help get the word out about my book reading events. As a result I did not go to LA, San Francisco or New York, the top three places most authors go on their book tour. I went where the energy was, not where it was not.

This also applies to my work as a consultant. I talk to a lot of people and it is my job to offer and sell consulting services. If I treated every lead and every prospect the same, I would be chasing a lot of cold avenues and suffering from more disappoinment and less success. When I go where the energy is, I can create a strong partnership with clients and deliver the services they seek. It is a win-win.

And this applies to managers at work, too. How often do we ram through projects or decisions or feel like we have to bribe people to attend meetings or training sessions? Go where the energy is, not where it is not. I was a director of OD many years back and I remember offering a set of services to my fellow department leaders. A few came to me immediately and asked for help and support and we did great work together. I did not waste my energy on the departments that would only engage in these services if they were forced or told it was mandatory.

Ditto with my coaching services. Like Marshall Goldsmith, I do not waste my time coaching the uncoachable - those people who do not really want to be coached and who are not open to making changes in how they lead.

How does GO WHERE THE ENERGY IS apply to your work and life? Don't waste time, energy, and positivity by chasing after people or projects that are running in the opposite direction. Take note of the people who are drawn to your work or messages - see and respond to those who are enrolled in your projects or passions. Be grateful for the energy that people share in your direction and on your behalf.

Affirmations - Maybe a Bad Idea?

(Hat tip to Dwayne over a Genuine Curiosity) Fascinating post from Kare Anderson about the flipside of affirmations and whether you should endeavor to think and say good/positive things. The post is called, Repeating Positive Affirmations Backfires For Many of Us. Check it out. Here is a snippet:

I thought of Eric today when I read that Norman Vincent Peale may have been wrong, at least for many people when he advocated saying positive self-affirmations to lift your mood. That oft-repeated notion that feeding ourselves upbeat messages can make us feel better isn’t necessarily true according to Joanne Wood's research.

Wow - provocative. what do you think? I agree with Kare that there ought to be more research into this notion. And I agree with Kare and several commenters who share that transformative power comes with consistent action.

Take A Weird Break to Survive Project Madness - More Great Advice from Zen Habits

I like this post from Zen Habits called, Six Amazing Techniques to Staying Happy During a Stressful Project. I love that he suggested taking "wierd breaks." Check it out.

Like Breathing - What's Your Natural Calling? What is FIT?

I love this post from Starbucker called, It's Like Breathing. In it, Terry tells a story of being hit by the thought of something being as natural as breathing. Check it out, it is a thought provoking post. And read all the great comments, too, as this post clearly got people thinking.

This notion of natural fit is interesting. Or maybe natural fit is not the right term - but harmonious fit. Maybe the fit was not always harmonious, but through exploration and practice, it has become seemingly natural.

Marcus Buckingham defines a strength as something that give you energy and a weakness something that drains you. Notice he does not say that a strength is something that is natural or easy. (Here is a great podcast I did with Marcus Buckingham)

I think that FIT is the key - fit with interests, with passions, and perhaps with some natural talent. But maybe the natural talent is not the key at all.

I think of my writing. I write a lot now. Ten books, three blogs, yada, yada, yada. And each year, my writing improves. I have wanted to write since I was a child. AND I was a lousy writer all through school because I had ADD, and now ADHD. It was HARD for me and did not come naturally. I had to listen to Strunk & White's little book of grammar on CD five times in a row before some of the basics started sticking with me. I consider myself a scholar (meaning lifeling learner) of writing. And yet, I might put it in the category as "like breathing" today.

And then in Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell stressed the role of practice - which certainly rings true for me. Geoff Colvin made a similar case in Talent is Overrated.

There's a spark - there's energy - there's a dedication to practice/learn and then there is fit. Like breathing.

Combining the notions of the strengths revolution, as brought to us by Buckingham and others, what we know about practice from Colvin, Gladwell and others and this notion of "like breathing" seems helpful and interesting to me. What do you think?

How to generate breakthroughs - in one line.

I got an email from a reader named John:

Hello Lisa,

I'm writing to you because I'm in the process of recording an audio course.... and I make reference to your work.

Revision, especially when trying to hold down a job, is a big personal project ... and Two Weeks to a Breakthrough has been really influential to the way I approach it.

I was wondering if you had a quick (single sentence) piece of advice or top tip that I could include for students, when I plug your book?

Many thanks,
John _________

I sent John a few one-liners to choose from:

If you want to remain focused and in action toward your goal, you can make big strides and create positive momentum by doing a little bit every day.

Research show us that you can zoom toward your goal if you work at it a little each day - this is better than being a weekend warrior!

Have a big goal? Chip away at it a little bit per day and you will get there fast.

Focus is the act of working on what matters most.

To generate breakthroughs, stay focused and take small actions every day.

Like the puff of air from a butterfly's flap, small daily action reverberate and create a wind of progress.

I think I like that last one best. What's your one-liner for success?