Here is a section from High Impact Middle Management on partnering techniques. Why not print this out and bring it to your next meeting with peers as a conversation starter?
High impact middle managers have learned what it takes to be a great partner. They know that the benefits of effective collaboration far outweigh the time and effort expended in creating the partnership. High impact middle managers also know that good partnerships do not simply happen. There are practices that they must put into place and cultivated to increase the benefits of peer-to-peer collaboration.
Technique #1: Resist the need to control.
If you have a constant need to control situations, people, or conversations it will undermine effective collaboration with your peer group. Partnering is a give-and-take process in which no one gets to play boss. Listen and watch for verbal and nonverbal clues that suggest other people are feeling pressured or pushed. One of the best ways to give up control in a conversation is to ask more open-ended questions and make fewer opinionated statements.
Technique #2: Spend time with peers.
Management is a social act. The more time that middle managers spend working with one another, the easier and more natural the partnering process will feel. In addition, peers that get together often feel more comfortable asking for input, help, and participation than do those who avoid each other. Middle managers who engage peers only when needed will receive a cooler and less helpful response. Great middle managers, both extroverts and introverts, know the value of cultivating and building relationships.
Technique #3: Resolve any past partnership failures.
Old conflicts and arguments affect the way in which people relate to one another in the present and future. You need to take initiative to resolve any prior relationship issues in order to pave the way for better and more productive collaboration in the future. The benefits of working through and getting past prior problems with other managers will more than make up for the initial discomfort of broaching the topic with them. Managers who resolve their differences will also feel less work-related stress.
If you are faced with a peer who does not seem willing to improve the relationship, you can do one of three things. First, you might try a different approach. Can you look at the situation from their perspective? Have you isolated the key issues or problems? It may be that what you thought was the problem is not what is actually bothering this person. Second, you are the only person you can control. Even if your peer is hanging onto a grudge, make sure that you continue to act and relate in a manner that is professional and collaborative. If you continue to take the high road he or she might come around in time Your third option, and the most dramatic, is to work with others whenever possible. You may still need to conduct business with this person, but when given the choice, it is most productive to work with those who reciprocate.
Technique #4: Communicate on behalf of your peers.
Effective communication is one of the most reliable predictors of a healthy partnership. Managers who keep one another in the loop and represent one another well in meetings and other conversations are generally great partners. Communicating with peers should be regular part of your day. In addition to communicating well with each other, it is important for peers to communicate well on each other’s behalf. High impact middle managers are willing and able to represent their peer’s interests and needs when that person is not present in staff meetings, brainstorming sessions, and informal conversations. You may need to defend a peer’s budget choices, or remind others of their projects that will require resources, or more commonly, represent their opinions and concerns. Great partners do this even when they do not agree with their peer’s point of view. When represent your peer middle managers in a positive light, you communicate that respect and care for colleagues is a key organizational value.
Technique #5: If you cannot say anything nice, do not say anything at all.
Never badmouth peers in front of others. It never pays to talk badly about peers, and it will burns bridges that you will need later on. Speak respectfully about other managers, even if you think ill of them. Managers who talk about other people behind their backs end up looking bad themselves. It is immature, unprofessional, and destructive to badmouth peers. The saying “What goes around, comes around” certainly applies to workplace relationships. This is not to say that disagreements with peers should be ignored. The best way to deal with a difference of opinion or disagreement is to directly communicate it, in a productive way, to the person involved.
(comment from the peanut gallery - Lisa learned this lesson the hard way :-( )
Technique #6: Take ownership of problems and challenges.
Don’t pass the buck. Few situations can put a damper on a partnership faster than being hung out to dry by a peer. Catherine learned this the hard way. Harry blamed her for problems that were rooted in his organization. When the president confronted Catherine about this, she was unfairly put on the defensive. Harry’s choice to pass blame and abdicate his own involvement in the problem hurt the level of partnership that he and Catherine would have in the future. High impact middle managers own problems and concerns and do not shift the blame onto other managers. If you have a complaint about how another manager is handling a situation, speak to that manager directly before taking it to the next level of management or that individual’s boss. You could burn bridges not only with your peer but upper management as well. If you do need to communicate an issue with another manager, then present a fair and balanced view of the problem, including the part of it that you own.
Technique #7: Graciously share credit.
Partners know that successes come from collaboration and that all players should share the credit. While it may be true that that one person’s idea was the catalyst for the breakthrough, the overall success was a product of the joint effort. Middle managers who ensure that everyone feels a part of success will enjoy a positive momentum going into the next project or initiative.
Technique #8: Know the needs and concerns of peers, managers, customers, and employees.
Middle managers will find it is easier to be good partners when they understand the needs and motivations of those with whom they regularly work. Then they are in a position to anticipate needs, warn of emerging problems, and share ideas with peers if they know what is important to others. As a middle manager, you should be able to answer the following questions regarding your employees and other managers you work with on a daily basis:
- What are their needs? What are their goals? What is their purpose in the organization?
- What are their interests? What are their motivations? (These are often different from their needs.)
- What are their strengths and weaknesses? What unique skills and talents do they bring to the organization?
- What are their hot buttons? What frustrates them most?
- How do they react to changes?
- What do I expect from them? What do they expect from me and my department?
Case Study
John and Barry were Vice Presidents reporting to the division president. They were both very talented and opinionated. When they were together in meetings, their demeanor toward one another was either cool and aloof, or confrontational. The real problem, however, came when they were not together. Both John and Barry took cheap shots at each other’s expense in front of others. They also did not involve each other in decisions as often as they should have, preferring to avoid one another when possible. Barry was particularly critical and cynical of John and many of his group members. Neither were inexperienced middle managers; they should have known better than to relate in this dysfunctional way. However, even managers with decades of experience let their opinions and emotions get the best of them. The managers who reported to John and Barry were beginning to emulate the dysfunction between the groups. It took having a manager who worked for John and closely with Barry to call their attention to what was going on. To their credit, once they saw the impact their poor relationship had on their results and their teams, they were able to become effective partners. In just a couple months, the improvement was significant and both were realizing benefits in terms of productivity and work satisfaction.
Middle managers who practice the eight partnering techniques will see immediate and long-term benefits. When peers become advocates and coaches, they add value to each your quest for results and efficiency. Being a good partner will also reflect well on you and improve your promotability and value within the organization.
Effective partnerships are valuable assets for managers. Developing and maintaining productive relationships with peers, managers, and team members allows high impact middle managers to extend their reach into the organization and improve their effectiveness. Great partners share ownership projects and collectively work together to enjoy success and recover from failure. Power Partnership techniques, such as spending more time with peers, resolving relationship issues, and representing others well can help middle managers improve peer relationships.
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