Likeability

The primaries are all abuzz about how the importance of likeability is having an affect on who people vote for on the democratic side - Obama or Clinton. And to some degree, likeability is mentioned as a reason Huckabee is doing as well as he is on the republican side.

But last night, probably the most intelligent democratic candidate dropped out of the race - Bill Richardson. And many pundits agree that he was unable to make an impression against the charming trio of Obama, Clinton, and Edwards. His style was just not charming enough. Not big enough. Too reserved.

We HR types know that likeability trumps a lot of other traits in the hiring process. And we know that whether a manager is likeable is critical to his or her success at creating a positive team environment.

For managers, likeability and charm are no longer "nice to have" traits. They are honest-to-goodness job skill requirements.

In case you are wondering, here's what I mean by charm:

I think people are charming when they share of themselves and create a personal (still professional) connection. And it is not just extroverts that are charming (and not all extroverts ARE charming). We are charming when we come across as genuine and we let our idiosyncrasies show a we bit.

If you are like Bill Richardson - a highly intelligent and qualified individual who has failed to connect to the people you are seeking influence, you might work on your likeability and charm. Tim Sanders wrote a good book on the topic called, The Likeability Factor.

Comments

[avrum68]

"We are charming when we come across as genuine and we let our idiosyncrasies show a we bit."

Harry Beckwith extends this truism by stating that, to appear more interesting to a journalist, show 'em a failure/flaw or two.

Unfortunately there are so many forces encouraging people to wear their masks, reinforce their armor, that it's only within the counseling milieu that people feel safe enough to "share of themselves".

Great post.

[Wally Bock]

Right on, Lisa. Being liked can be a big help and the way most managers develop it is by chatting with the people who work for them. I tell people in my training that they are almost certain to have something in common with everyone who works for them. Identify it and you have easy conversation, even if you're not a "people person."

Kouzes and Posner, authors of The Leadership Challenge, wrote a good book on this years ago. It's called Credibility: How Leaders Gain and Lose It, Why People Demand It. I didn't read it for years because I was put off by the title, but it's about developing relationships at work when one of you is the boss.

[Michael Lee Stallard]

Maister, Green and Galford developed the trust equation which is somewhat relevant here. The equation is: credibility + reliability + intimacy / self-orientation. Other things being equal, likability somewhat determined by our assessment of trustworthiness? We size up people based on first impressions and then adjust with additional experience. Like Bill Richardson, the more reserved among us are at a disadvantage in likability and trustworthiness because it appears that intimacy is more difficult to develop in a relationship with them.

[Anita Bruzzese]

When we hide behind e-mails, Blackberries and cell phones, we miss out on one of the truly great things in life...connecting with another human being. While technology has it's place, nothing beats having someone look you in the eye and talk to you one-on-one, even if it's only for a few minutes. What both people can get out of that is something that cannot be gained by any other means.
Anita Bruzzese
www.45things.com

[PiarasMacDonnell]

All too often we fall back on technical expertise, experience or even stereo types (he takes no BS...) to make up for the absence of Likeability.

In an information world it is already highly valued. Look at some of the successful professions and the common trait/skill they carry. Top sales men, attorneys (especially jury case specialists), politicians, company leaders. Likeability.

With so many of the traditional skills now becoming a commodity or going stale in 2-3 years. The enduring nature of likeability only makes it more of a necessity if you are to flourish.

[gl hoffman]

This entire likeability theme is most important, yet few know how to improve theirs. i tried to give people ten tips in a recent blog post.
http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/11/23/ten-ways-to-make-people-like-you/